


Blame it on the mullet

by mottainai



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Denial, I did not mean for this to be offensive im really super sorry if it is, Just you wait - Freeform, Keith's mullet is the antagonist of lance's entire life, M/M, Pining, basically keith is lance's bisexual awakening and lance is having a hard time, lance is really freaking dumb, mullet abuse, theres angst coming, this isn't crack i swear
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-17
Updated: 2016-10-17
Packaged: 2018-08-22 23:29:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8305409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mottainai/pseuds/mottainai
Summary: Lance needed to find a solution to the Keith Kogane Conundrum™ pretty soon or his brain would suffer oxygen deprivation from his being knocked breathless so often.





	

Lance had known he liked girls for his entire life. No biggie. He liked the gentle curve of a smile thrown over the shoulder, elegant fingers tangled in long hair, a lilting laugh. What wasn’t there to like? Girls were great. Better than great. Girls practically ruled his entire world.

 

So it came to no shock to him when he liked Allura. She was confident, fierce, beautiful. However, she was also incredibly out of his league and thousands of years old to boot. She didn’t feel the same way, wasn’t impressed by any of his certain to bamboozle the fairer sex. So, maybe Lance didn’t have a chance, and he knew that deep down. That didn’t stop him from appreciating how amazing Allura was, though.

 

It wouldn’t be the first time Lance had pined after an unattainable beauty. Same old, same old. Life went on just the same.

 

However, Lance had a problem. That problem’s name was Keith Kogane, who was on the verge of ripping his entire life apart. Recently, Lance had found the pacific blue eyes in his daydreams being replaced with steel grey ones. His daily quota of saying stupid things around people had shifted from Allura to  _ Keith.  _ The other day in training against the bots Lance had jumped to avoid being shot and stumbled right into Keith’s chest. After he caught a breath the first thing he had registered was how firm it felt underneath his palm. He had  _ blushed  _ for christ’s sake. 

 

Keith is not a girl. And here his internal struggle resides. 

 

It’s not that Lance can’t appreciate when a guy is good looking - Shiro probably could’ve quit the Garrison and walked straight onto an action movie set based on looks alone. Hunk was handsome in his own right, had a face that you could trust easily and skin to die for. Pidge had a nicely shaped face and lustrous hair. There had been that one guy at the Garrison that had cheekbones so sharp you could cut yourself on them, and the other one that looked like a Captain America lookalike with the blonde hair, blue eyes, and perfectly sculpted thighs-

 

Anyway. With Keith it was different. It wasn’t so much his brain just recognizing Keith’s attractive features, Lance felt like he was being kicked in the stomach each time he noticed how toned Keith’s biceps were, or the perfect slope of neck to shoulder, etceteria. Lance needed to find a solution to the Keith Kogane Conundrum ™ pretty soon or his brain would suffer oxygen deprivation from his being knocked breathless so often. 

 

It was so that Lance fervently denied any such notion of being cradled in a certain someone's arms. The whole ordeal had been extremely taxing on him, so being embraced by  _ anyone  _ would have felt relieving, and comforting, and safe. It just happened to be Keith, is all. Lance’s heart would have been beating right out of his chest had it been  _ anyone _ . It just happened to be Keith. 

 

But just to be safe, he was making it out to seem that he didn’t remember a thing. Then there was no way that Keith could catch onto these possible feelings that Lance wasn’t really feeling. 

 

The whole thing was destroying all his previous confidence he had in his sexuality. He knew that there was absolutely nothing wrong with being gay - Earth had come a long way from it’s homophobic past. But he had thought it was pretty obvious from the way he fell for every second girl that he was as straight as an arrow. This he had been sure of. But then Keith came along and plucked his metaphorical arrow of straightness out of the air and broken over his knee, (like the arrogant asshole he was) but in slow motion so Lance could watch his muscles tense and strain with each movement.

 

Great, and now he was thinking about Keith’s biceps again. 

 

It wasn’t like he hadn’t  _ tried  _ not thinking about Keith for more than thirty seconds. He had filed his fingernails, stared at the wall, gone through his moisturising routine  _ twice,  _ and even tried exercising the angst away. All his thought processes kept coming back to Keith. It was infuriating. One of these days he was going to go mad.

 

Maybe this is all the mullet’s fault. Yeah, that had to be it. Keith’s stupidly long hair was probably just confusing his brain into associating feelings he felt for girls with Keith. All this pain because of that horrendous outdated hairstyle. It was so stupid, that it was making Lance stupid with all this feelings nonsense. The haircut was so horrendous that it was causing these weird heart palpitations. He could be in actual, real, serious medical danger here, and Keith was refusing to cut the damn thing.

 

Death to the mullet, and his problem should be solved, right? He would just have to sneak up behind Keith with a handy pair of scissors and snip off those extra few inches. Simple, right?

 

But Keith would be able to sense he was there with that whacky sixth sense of his and grab his wrist. He would probably be a real jerk and do something like shove him against a wall and trap him there, asking him  _ “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”  _ In that ~~hot~~ pissed off voice of his. Lance would be in trouble then, no one around to help him and he couldn’t get out because Keith’s arm would be blocking the way and-

 

Biceps. 

 

Lance screamed into his pillow.

 

* * *

 

While Lance had been undergoing his sexuality crisis, he had also been missing dinner, calling out to Hunk on the other side of the door that he was feeling too sick to stomach anything. This is a decision he is currently regretting, if his rumbling belly was anything to go by. 

 

Cautiously, he poked a head through his door, thankfully finding the hallway empty. The programmed castle time was around one at night, so any self respecting paladin should be in bed. 

 

Lance shuffled his way to the kitchen, the dimmed night-time lights automatically brightening as he walked under them and lowering again behind him. The padding of his feet against the floor was loud in the silence. That was the main thing that was so off putting about space. It was so quiet. No rain hitting the tiling of his family’s house, no children screaming as they bicycled past, no bustle of town residents going their business. There is only seven of them in this huge castle ship, so there was never a lot of noise. 

 

The kitchen was large, sleek and tidy. He could see himself in the reflection of the polished surface. It reminded him of when he had been a kid visiting his friend’s house. Their family had been quite well off and had a stylish, modern kitchen like this one. He had thought that it was so cool, had been a little embarrassed of his own kitchen, messy, cluttered, and cramped. Thinking back now, though, he would give anything to be squashed around the scratched counter, nursing a chipped mug full of his mother’s hot chocolate. 

 

Sighing, he grabbed a plate and made his way over to the goo pipes. His mother would have helped him sort this entire thing out in a single afternoon. She would hold his hand in her own and talk him through it, gently guiding him until the answer seemed ridiculously obvious.

 

His heart ached. He missed his mother terribly.

 

Lance picked up the nozzle and aimed it at the plate, and a hand suddenly grasped his shoulder. Shrieking, he jumped a foot in the air, grip tightening on the trigger, sending a spurt of goo up to the ceiling. There is stayed, defying the castle’s gravity. 

 

“Hi Lance! You’re up late.” Came Hunk’s cheerful voice from behind him.

 

Lance whirled around, furious and sending a weak punch to Hunk’s arm to buy him time to regain his breath. “Don’t sneak up on me like that, dude.”

 

Hunk’s smile stayed. “Aw, I didn’t mean to Lance. I’m sorry though.” The corners of his lips twitched further into the smirk of a  _ dirty liar.  _

 

Huffing, Lance served himself some goo, landing on the plate this time. He sat at one of the chrome counters, and determinedly shovelled space goo into his mouth, not thinking about how it was thousands of years old.

 

“So are you feeling better?” Hunk asked as he sat down beside him with his own plate of goo.

 

“Yeah, a bit.” Lance mumbled. “Did I miss much at dinner?” 

 

Hunk hummed. “Nah, not much. Coran started talking about this horrific space version of measles, Pidge was testing out some magnets on Shiro’s arm, Keith came in late because he lost track of time in the training room-”

 

Hunk broke off as Lance groaned loudly at the image of Keith running into the dining room, sweaty and a bit flushed. He buried his head in his hands.  _ Not now, gay thoughts.  _

 

Hunk placed the back of his hand against Lance’s forehead. “Are you feeling sick again?” He frowned. “Your temperature’s up, bro.” 

 

“I’m just dandy.” Lance jumped in. “Nothing wrong, no sir. I’m perfectly fine. Everything is good. Thank’s for asking.” 

 

Hunk leaned further in, squinting dubiously at Lance’s traitorously red cheeks, then up to his eyes, then down to his twitching fingers playing with his food, then up to his eyes again. “Oh my god.” He said. “You’re  _ lovesick.”  _

 

Lance laughed nervously. “I think it’s pretty obvious to everyone on this ship that I like Allura, Hunk.”

 

Hunk shook his head. “Nah, this is different.” And suddenly a cheshire cat grin spread over his features. “You like  _ Keith,  _ don’t you?”

 

“Wh-what are you talking about?” Lance spluttered. “In a completely platonic way, yeah.”

 

Hunk wriggled his eyebrows, digging his elbows into Lance’s side. “You  _ like-like  _ him.”

 

Lance stabbed his goo with murderous intent. “What are you, twelve?”

 

“Yeah, on a scale of one to ten.” Hunk shot back immediately. “Just admit it. You’re gay for Keith.” 

 

“N-no, I’m just-”

 

“Dude, you literally just made a ‘K’ out of your space goo without realising.” Lance glanced down, and saw that Hunk was right. Groaning, he pushed the offending plate away, no longer hungry.

 

“I like girls, though.” He protested weakly. 

 

“That doesn’t impact on your feelings for Keith, though.” Hunk said gently. “Feelings are feelings. Don’t run away from something just because it’s new.” 

 

“B-but-”

 

“You’re bi, you dumbass!” A voice yelled from behind another counter.

 

The calming, trust filled atmosphere Hunk had create came falling down. “Pidge!” Lance yelled back, even more embarrassed now. “How long have you been there?!  _ Why  _ are you there?” 

 

Pidge popped up, leaning his elbows on the bench and shrugging. “I was here first, actually. It takes too much energy to walk to and fro my room and the kitchen, so I was just working in here. It’s not my fault you had to drag your sexuality crisis into this place of nourishment” Lance sighed, hitting his head against the counter. “Bisexuality isn’t anything to be worried or confused about.” He continued. “You like both genders. So what.”

 

Hunk was beaming again. “See?” He said. “You’re getting yourself worked up over nothing. You should tell him.” He rubbed a hand up and down Lance’s back. “This life is fast and exciting, but it’s also dangerous. You almost died the other day. If you put everything out in the open now while you have time you won’t have any regrets or what-ifs for either of you to angst over if something were to happen.”

 

Lance knew they had a point. That didn’t mean that he had to like it. “I hate it when you guys gang up on me.” He whined.

 

Hunk patted his arm soothingly. “There there. We’ll get you through this.”

 

“I bet one day we’ll look back on this moment and laugh about how stupid you were.” Pidge added.

 

“God, I hope so.” Lance had a feeling like his life was about to get infinitely better or infinitely worse. Perhaps both.

  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Come talk to be about gay space boys at trash-by-vouge


End file.
